No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
