We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
