please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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