I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
