man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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