On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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