Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I think my vagina is haunted
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
