Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
