dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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