well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
