do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
