They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize