I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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