my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She bit a glass in half.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize