well I can't set my house on fire every night
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
