but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
