you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
