I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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