Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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