Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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