Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
