nut hugger
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also, beer. Big fan.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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