I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
my poor anus
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
