i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
