I've blown a few things in my day
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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