1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize