i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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