I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We're too hungover to prance.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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