Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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