I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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