dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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