I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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