I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
