I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
