hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
