im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
