I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
