Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
