I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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