i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
