Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
