Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
