I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
