If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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