yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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