You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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