why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
