She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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