the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
