Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
a search helicopter?!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize