She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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