Got a toothbrush?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
