So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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