she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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