So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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