Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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