I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
