This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
