If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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