She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
