he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
