Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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